christian counseling today
Vol. 20 no. 4
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close for a season and then open again. This allows for the
development of group cohesion.
Each section in
Trekking toward Wholeness
addresses one
of four major leadership functions: 1) visioning and struc-
turing (setting out the purpose, plans and procedures); 2)
meaning attribution (locating and framing meaning); 3)
caring (displaying warmth, respect and acceptance); and 4)
affect and attachment stimulation (intensifying emotional
exchanges and deepening relational engagement).
4, 5, 6
Drawing upon the extensive research in this therapeutic
niche, it is exciting to unravel the complex dynamics
regarding the interaction of members, leaders and the group
itself as a cohesive unit. Multiple factors combine to promote
healing, growth and change in participants. It is even more
amazing to discover that heroes of our Christian faith (i.e.,
Philipp Jakob Spener, the father of pietism; John Wesley; etc.)
made remarkable use of the power of accountability and inti-
mate mutual confession to foster discipleship.
The intent now is to build on this evidence base while
linking with recent evangelical thought on the grace-based
practices that foster spiritual formation. Consider these five
principles as ways to amplify the skills that group leaders
uniquely exemplify to grow disciples and further consistent
Christian living. Cultivate practices that bring these to life
in the leaders you train, as well as when you lead. The risk in
stating these so concisely is that it may not be evident how
much is packed in each best practice principle. The chal-
lenge after reading this is to go out and notice how the group
leaders you experience and observe bring these alive.
n
Care group leaders spread a contagious hospi-
tality that refreshes and affirms.
Hospitality in small
groups is not about plugging in the coffee maker or serving
cookies. It does, however, require cleaning up messes left
behind by folks who do not yet appreciate what the party was
all about. There is no single way to do hospitality. Its essence
is the warmth of welcome and open hearts that participants
experience. In most groups, extending hospitality involves
communication to clarify expectations, orientate participa-
tion, explain guidelines and affirm the best efforts of other
members. These are ideal practices to introduce a welcoming
hospitality that becomes the ethos of the group. Remember,
care groups must address hard matters and entrenched behav-
iors. Thus, while the overall atmosphere a leader stirs is one
of gracious hospitality, the talk itself must be nitty and gritty.
Relationships must strive toward increasing authenticity. This
is how conditions are groomed interpersonally to “speak the
truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).
n
Care group leaders celebrate the beauty, bless-
ings and risks that flow from mutual exchange.
A central
axiom in group literature is that leaders need to fully embrace
the wonder and potential of what a particular group can
become, whether this is a self-help group that relies on sharing
within routine turn-taking or a leader-directed group where
cross talk is encouraged and guided. In each, the curative
moments are when members give and receive. Care group
leaders realize that member communication must increase.
Their role is best fulfilled when it appears that they have
faded into the background without notice.
n
Care group leaders recognize the healing potential
of corrective relational experiences.
There is a hard-
to-reverse myth that the verbal act of purging trauma and
surfacing buried pain is a self-cleansing experience. Getting
it out is not what help is all about. Rather, solid group work
is built on the premise of sharing with, and to, one another.
7
Hurts are healed not by speaking them aloud, but inviting
others to sit with us in that experience.
8
Once others join
our hearts in that excruciating memory, ongoing struggle or
secret shame, the cruelest dimensions of isolation and fear are
broken. This element is, perhaps, the most potent feature in
any care group.
n
Care group leaders are creative collaborators.
Outstanding care group leaders move members into position
to model, guide and support one another. This distribution of
responsibility gives others the privilege and sense of accom-
plishment that comes from working to make constructive
change. Creative collaboration is never passive or achieved
by careless neglect. Rather, leaders instinctively sense when
the timing is right for another to experience what it is like
to guide, support and locate wisdom. Care groups are more
about shared leadership than the performance of a good
leader.
n
Care group leaders share the rewards of nurture
so gratitude permeates the entire group.
The experience
of comfort is credited to members or the group as a whole;
not to the leader. The Holy Spirit is the catalyst for caring.
Leaders who are serious about spiritual formation outcomes
Remember that care groups are serious and specialized; not casual, social or educational.
Group numbers at any given time can seem small, but over the months and years these
are active, many lives are impacted. The biblical criteria for leadership cannot be ignored
on the basis of size alone. The intensity level of care groups and the potential for impact
raise the leadership bar.
