Page 18 - EW Magazine 5-2 FINAL

engaged in some form of pornography. Many would say that these percent-ages are conservative. If any form of betrayal—including viewing pornog-raphy, prostitution or any sexual activity—has become an unmanage-able, escalating, destructive method of medicating or managing feelings, the presence of addiction is likely. Whenever a spouse either discloses infidelity or is discovered in the act, the impact can be traumatic. Sadly, the incidence of being discovered is the most common. If the percent-ages of infidelity are true, then this kind of devastation is a tragedy with which many are familiar. However, there is hope! As the Apostle Paul said in Romans 8:28, “… in all things God works for good of those who love him….” Here are some things to think about (assuming the spouse who betrayed has ended all inappropriate relationships):

n Often, an early temptation is to keep things quiet. Many fear the shame of the sin’s public exposure. Some suffer enough anxiety to prevent them from telling anyone. Others actually believe they are doing the loving thing by not talking to anyone, not wanting to endanger jobs or family relation-ships. Marriages that survive and thrive, however, are those where husbands and wives are honest and seek help early.

n An initial, and very damaging, core belief can be that the betrayed spouse “must not be enough” or “must have done something wrong.” Many spouses blame themselves for their partners’ unfaithfulness by believing they haven’t been sexual enough or are not sexually desir-able. Though many who commit infidelity will blame their spouses, the truth is they may actually be lonely, angry, depressed or anxious. Infidelity can be a way where one spouse copes with the lack of inti-macy in the marriage; however, there is no excuse for betrayal.