Page 31 - EW Magazine 5-2 FINAL

extraordinary women Volume 5 I ssue 2 31

n Remember: Remember how much you have been forgiven. Although your sins might be different, Christ died for all of us and no sin is unforgiveable by the cross.

n Release: Release the “right” to punish your spouse to the Lord. This does not mean there will not be consequences for his behavior, but allow God to work them out.

n Repeat: Hurt often occurs in layers… and so does forgiveness. When you find yourself dealing with hurt and unforgiveness again, repeat the Remember and Release steps. Fifth, know that you have the right to set boundaries. Boundaries reveal “what is me” and “what is not me,” as well as what I am and am not respon-sible for (Cloud & Townsend, 1992). Take time to explore these topics with the Lord and set boundaries in all areas of your life, including the emotional, physical and spiritual. Pray about these boundaries and assertively share them with your husband.

Conclusion

For those who have experienced the betrayal and roller coaster of emotions that pornography causes, it is completely understandable that this period of your life has been incredibly difficult. What we have shared in this article is just a start. We pray it will be encouraging; however, if additional support is needed, please seek the assistance of a mental health profes-sional in your area. May God bless you and your husband as you walk this road together. ]

Sara Wood, Ph.D., earned her doctorate in Counselor Education and Supervision from Regent University. She is a Licensed Processional Counselor with an exten-sive background working with couples in the church setting. Sara and her family make their home in Virginia.

Laurel Shaler, Ph.D., is a Licensed Social Worker with a doctorate in Counselor Education and Supervision from Regent University. She has spent a number of years researching anger and developed a comprehensive anger manage-ment program for women. Laurel is currently an educator in a number of counseling programs including Liberty University Online. She can be found blogging at lessonsfromlaurel.org. Follow her on Facebook, facebook.com/DrLaurelShaler, or Twitter, @DrLaurelShaler.

References

Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (1992). Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life . Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.

Coughlin, P. (2009). Pornography and Virtual Infidelity . focusonthefamily.com. Davila, Y. (1999). Women and Anger. Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services , 37(7), 25-29.

Harvey, G. (2011). Personal Communication. Kubler-Ross, E. (1969). On Death and Dying . New York, NY: Scribner.

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