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As employees we are drawn together in the
workplace by our career choice, talents and work
ethic. For the most part, our family allegiances,
ethnic and religious beliefs are generally left in
the parking lot or at the front door. Nevertheless,
when a family death occurs, these beliefs permeate
the workplace as the employee begins the healing
process and the co-workers try to provide comfort.
An entirely different scenario arises when the death
is that of an employee – the reaction of co-workers,
management team and Human Resources person-
nel are confronted emotionally in an environment
that is all too often ill-prepared.
The notion of creating compassionate workplaces
that support loss of life goes well beyond compa-
nies’ bereavement leave policies, which typically
include providing personal time off and support
when an employee returns to work after a loss.
A compassionate workplace must also take into
account 1) an employee’s unique way of grieving;
2) his/her religious/cultural affiliation; and 3) the
nature of the relationship with the deceased.
Recently a company asked me to provide support
to employees who experienced a sudden loss of a
co-worker. Apparently, the employee did not arrive
at work so a co-worker called the police; the police
found the woman collapsed on the floor; and her
death was determined to be from natural causes.
When I arrived at the workplace to provide grief
education and support, I was caught off guard by
the vast assortment of reactions from her co-work-
ers.
First, I began with my general group discussion of
what to expect over the next couple of weeks and
months, which went rather smoothly. The group
then broke into smaller teams providing employees
the opportunity to share personal thoughts and
concerns. What happened next was a snapshot into
what really happens in some organizations when
grief enters the workplace, creating a tornado of
emotions and religious/cultural clashes that are dif-
ficult to anticipate and manage.
During the breakout groups, employees first shared
stories of their co-worker and friend, who had
been with the company for 7 years and sat at the
entrance of the building, greeting both employees
and clients. They then began sharing their personal
beliefs about death, the afterlife, and mourn-
ing rituals. This is when the clash began and the
co-worker/friend’s death took a back seat. Some
employees expressed their belief that the dead are
in a better place. Other people shared that the best
place for their friends are at their desk working by
their side. Some believed that the funeral must
occur in 24 hours and only family should attend,
while others shared that the funeral is a public af-
fair. Some believed in life celebrations while others
observed traditional mourning. As the facilitator,
my job was to educate, direct conversations and of-
fer support while providing the opportunity for the
attendees to share their feelings.
Just like religious and cultural differences, grief
and loss are challenging situations for companies.
During this particular session, my focus shifted
away from grief to the need to support one another
through these difficult days regardless of individual
customs or beliefs. Working as a team would
require tolerance and understanding of each other’s
viewpoint, requiring employees to be respectful
of the differing reactions to the loss. Eventually,
the employees worked together in partnership to
get through the difficult days by channeling their
energies towards the grieving family and collabo-
rating with each other to maintain a productive
work environment. In the weeks following the loss,
their collective empathy created an accepting en-
vironment with co-workers showing kindness and
compassion to each other in spite of their personal
beliefs of loss.
In order to create a meaningful compassionate
workplace, human resources personnel need to
provide grief education and support in a timely
manner, allowing the employee or workgroup to
grieve the loss while balancing day-to-day business
activities. Providing the appropriate time off, al-
lowing employees to share their feelings and being
receptive to cultural and religious differences will
permit the organization to effectively work through
its challenges.
Rachel Blythe Kodanaz, B.S.,
is an author, speaker and
coach who provides encour-
agement to those who are
suffering a loss or setback
specifically in the workplace.
Following the sudden loss of
her husband, her experience in the management
of large corporations led her to publish resourc-
es, provide training and consultation supporting
grief and loss in the workplace. She is the author
of Living with Loss, One Day at a Time, a best-
seller that offers daily encouragement to indi-
viduals and families who have lost a loved one or
are suffering from any form of loss. Included are
365 daily lessons and thought-provoking ideas of
hope, optimism, introspection, and self-discov-
ery. Rachel has earned a Bachelor of Science in
Business at Bryant University. Contact informa-
tion:
or visit www.
rachelkodanaz.com.
Just like
religious
and cultural
differences,
grief
and
loss
are
challenging
situations for
companies.
