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christian counseling today
Vol. 21 no. 2
31
recurrent infections, and multiple falls resulting
from deconditioning. He spent most of his time
in bed sleeping, as this seemed to give him peace
and shut out the world of pain around him.
Mr. Q was referred to me after an Emergency
Room visit following a fall, when he told the
doctor that he wanted to die. My initial evalu-
ation revealed a friendly, very intelligent, and
competent, but chronically ill, older man who
was articulate about his struggles and why he was
tired of life. He was not particularly religious,
but had been raised in the Church. I treated him
with anti-depressants, anti-anxiety agents, and
even anti-psychotics (since delirium from recur-
rent infections was a problem).
He started to get better with the drugs, and
even began to engage in regular physical therapy,
including pool exercises several times per week.
Despite this, however, one new medical problem
followed another. Sleep, appetite, and his relation-
ships with family members all became affected
by his deteriorating physical condition and the
accompanied irritability. Since I could do little
more medically, I told him every time I saw
him that I was praying for him (and really did).
I expressed to him that he was a warrior in a
mighty battle, a soldier taking fire in the trenches
(language he understood as a veteran), and the
heavenly hosts were watching and cheering him
on. Over time, our relationship strengthened and
his wife told me that the highlight of his week
was coming in to see me, when he always perked
up. At home, she assured me, he was not doing
so well.
After several months of treatment, he noncha-
lantly mentioned during a clinic visit that he had
gotten baptized the week before and was, in fact,
reading a book about the heroes of the Christian
faith. I was thrilled beyond words, and he could
tell. Mr. Q continued to improve emotionally
and there was no longer talk of suicide.
A few weeks later, I received an e-mail from
his wife. Mr. Q had just experienced a major
stroke that left him unable to move his right side
(he was right handed), speak clearly, or swallow.
Nevertheless, he remained alert without signifi-
cant cognitive impairment, completely aware of
his new situation. To prevent him from dying
and to provide fluids, food, and medication, the
doctors inserted a feeding tube directly into his
stomach and then transferred him to a nursing
home for rehabilitation and long-term care.
The stroke left him in a situation like my own father’s, who spent years in
a nursing home in pain from multiple bed sores before finally dying as a
result of an infected sore. I visited Mr. Q several times at the home, reading
him Scripture (Psalm 139) and encouraging him that God was near and he
was not alone. I guess I had become overinvolved, as he had developed into
more of a friend than a patient.
Mr. Q’s wife e-mailed me after he had spent several weeks in the
nursing home. She said he had decided to die and asked the doctors to
withdraw his feeding tube. Given his suffering from chronic pain, total
dependency, inability to speak or swallow, and without any real potential
for improvement, I thought about how I should respond. I have always
been opposed to suicide of any kind, and have written and published on
this topic. What would I do, though, if I was destined to lie in bed for the
rest of my life unable to move about independently, speak or eat or swallow,
and in constant pain with only minimal relief? Would I, too, ask my doctor
to pull the feeding tube and let me go naturally?
So, I went to visit him to discuss my thoughts. I encouraged him to
have a serious talk with God and ask if He had any purpose left for his life
(and try not to allow his own desires to influence God’s response). If God’s
answer was: “Yes. I can still use you in this life to accomplish my will,”