73 / 96
christian counseling today
Vol. 21 no. 2
73
brokenhearted parents, spouses, and
friends and attempted to do whatever I
could for them, knowing full well what
the Bible has to say about “self-murder.”
I understand when one chooses death
over life, it goes against everything we
believe since God says, “choose life”
(Deuteronomy 30:19). God is the only
One who has the authority on how and
when a person should die. In the words
of David the Psalmist, God declared,
“My times are in your hands…” (Psalm
31:15). Man always errs when he takes
upon himself the authority of the
Creator.
Although I am familiar with the
commandment, “You shall not murder”
(Exodus 20:13), and know what God’s
Word says about the matter, what
continues to confound me is how and
why a person can go to the place that
life no longer has an attraction. I might
understand how one who has never
known Christ’s love could do it, but
why would someone who has experi-
enced the compassion of God choose to
terminate his or her life? I am not being
naïve or attempting to be sensational.
Yet, when I talk to parents and friends
and hear their stories about family
members who never seemed to be able
to fit in or whose suffering made life
unlivable or whose addiction took life’s
meaning away or whose heartbreak was
so severe that loneliness robbed them
of their existence, I get a glimpse of the
ultimate futility. They have shared with
me, “Pastor, no one knew the depth
of their agony and emptiness…” and I
reply, “I surely do not, but I know God
does… and for some reason, I believe we
have not written the end to this story. A
gracious, merciful God will determine
the eternal destiny of your loved one.”
False hope? No way, just my feel-
ings that God’s love and understanding
for those we cannot figure out are what
make Him Eternal Lord. Every time?
I cannot say… I can only surrender
the soul and the circumstances of that
person into the hands of the One
who knows the secret sufferings of
His children. “Self-murder” is not the
unforgivable sin, it is just one of the
sins that God, in His mercy, deals with
and forgives according to His love
and compassion. A person can destroy
the body, but not the spirit. We go to
heaven or hell based on our relationship
with Jesus Christ. Circumstances might
destroy us, but they can never separate
us from the love of God (Romans 8:35;
Ephesians 2:8).
Hopelessness is Despair
To feel hopeless is a desperate atti-
tude. No one should have to feel that
way. That is why the Church and its
extended organizations must never
allow themselves to become so sophisti-
cated that they are unresponsive to the
struggles of others. We must establish
a safe place for weary life travelers to
find rest and seek to walk in the shoes
of those we find unpleasant. Listen
for those who cry for help. Extend a
hand to one who might be flailing for
survival. In the attitude and concern of
Jesus Christ, be on the lookout for that
“lost coin” (Rejoice!), “lost sheep” (Joy)
or “lost son” (Celebrate) (Luke, chapter
15) whose last option may have been
exhausted. They are hopeless, so please
offer them hope by the way of personal
love and spiritual strength through the
One who said, “Peace I leave with you;
my peace I give you. I do not give to
you as the world gives. Do not let your
hearts be troubled and do not be afraid”
(John 14:27).
✠
Rev. H.B. London, Jr.,
D.D.,
has served 33 years
in pastoral ministry—20 as
Pastor to Pastors with Focus
on the Family. H.B. and
his wife, Beverley, are now
“retired” and live in LaQuinta, California, where
he continues his ministry to the clergy through
H.B. London Ministries
(hblondon.org). Focus
on the Family has conferred on H.B. the title of
Pastor to Pastors Emeritus.