christian counseling today
Vol. 20 no. 4
69
Simply said, cohesion comes from
the “perceived need of the group by
the individual members.” A group
that has oneness, or unity, or stickiness
represents an environment where each
member feels a need for the entire unit.
It is that experience of, “I need to get
to my group on Wednesday” vs. “Oh,
no… it’s Wednesday. I have to go to
group tonight. I would rather watch
TV.” The people feel a real need to be
there because something happens that
they depend on and need. The oppo-
site is also true; the group needs for
members to be there because they bring
something to that group that makes the
whole process function.
So, what does the leader do to build
cohesion? In my thinking, members
feel a need for the group when they go
through “transformational moments.”
These can be defined as experiences
where they are in one state of mind, or
feeling, or thinking, and then something
happens in the group that transforms
that state of being to a different focus:
confusion to clarity, not knowing to
understanding, fear to courage, alone-
ness to feeling connected, lost to having
direction, etc. So it is incumbent upon
the leader to make sure the group is
a place where this transformation is
happening over and over… and when
it is not, bring it to the attention of the
group to address. A group is able to
provide these opportunities if a leader is
providing and nurturing an atmosphere
where people can bring their gifts and
personhood to the group experience.
It is the same for a leader of a team or
organization—he or she must be aware
that the team or business is providing
those kinds of experiences for each indi-
vidual so everyone feels like they need
the rest of the team in order to win.
That is cohesion at its core.
Whether you are working with a
CEO, pastor, small group leader or serve
as one of these yourself, give strong
attention to those two factors and they
will add to the successful outcome
of your enterprise. Make sure people
know where they are going and what is
expected of them, how they win, and
that the group is providing what they
need from each other to accomplish
these tasks. If you, as a leader, are taking
an ongoing inventory of those processes,
or helping other leaders do that, better
outcomes will follow.
✠
Henry Cloud, Ph.D.,
i
s a clinical psychologist,
leadership consultant,
and the author of the
new release,
Boundaries
for Leaders: Results,
Relationships, and Being Ridiculously in Charge
(Harper, 2013).
