Christian Counseling Today Vol. 22, Iss. 1

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christian counseling today VOL. 22 NO. 1 37
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admitted they are currently personally battling with the use
of pornography. It is no surprise, then, that 55% of these
pastors admit to living in constant fear of their secret lives
being found out.6 These numbers may, indeed, be even higher
because it is common for men and pastors to underreport.
The shame factor is incredibly high for pastors and Christian
leaders who struggle with pornography and sex addiction.
I have counseled many pastors who find the safe sanctuary
of a confidential counseling office to be the only place they
would dare risk the vulnerability of opening up and disclosing
their secret struggles with pornography. These pastors are
convinced, and probably rightly so, that if they get honest
with their elders, deacon boards, or other staff members about
their secrets, it will mean a fast track out of the ministry
and the livelihood with which they have given their lives. It
follows that if the pastor cannot or will not open up and be
vulnerable about his own sexual struggle, the chances are low
that the men in that church will feel safe enough to do their
recovery work in the local church setting. As a result, we have
a staggering volume of men sitting in our churches on Sunday
who will leave the light of the brick and mortar “sanctuary”
to spend much of each week compulsively wading through
the stronghold and cesspool of cyber darkness.
While statistics are important, the sobering numbers do
not truly seem to make a significant impact on getting the
serious problem of pornography and sex addiction, and a
proven treatment plan, on the front burner of our churches.
Our mission here must not be to merely curse this literal
darkness. Indeed, we must access and put into practice the
brilliant light that illumines the clear path for these men to
come out of the darkness, the shadows, and the virtual graves
through which they are stumbling.
A Vision for the Church and Counselors
While the struggle and devastation of pornography, adultery,
and sex addiction is epic, the truth remains that we have more
help and hope than people have problems. We must increase
our efforts to educate, inform, and provide resources for local
churches to begin to carefully address the 21st century version
of broken sexuality. Wisdom is crucial to not break open
the proverbial Pandora’s box of sexual disclosure without the
proper container. Counselors, especially those trained in sex
addiction treatment, should be on the front line of providing
training and support for churches in their geographical areas.
Professional counselors can invite pastors to come to the
confidentially-safe refuge of the counseling office to open
up about their personal struggles with pornography and sex
addiction. I believe if pastors cannot do their own therapy
work to address their sexual struggles, there is little chance
that a recovery ministry for pornography and sex addiction
will be able to thrive in that local church setting. Certainly,
local churches can partner with area counselors to have a
trusted network base to which they can refer church members
and attendees.
The powerful resource known as “Covenant Eyes”
) is a vital component to successful
recovery from pornography and sex addiction. This Internet
monitoring, filtering, and accountability software provides
a massive protective wall for computers, tablets, and smart
phones to help keep people safe from the destructive
aspects of the Internet. Like Nehemiah, strong Internet
accountability and filtering like this can practically help
people rebuild the broken down walls in their lives. Echoing
Saint Paul in Romans 13:14, let’s provide the tools to “…
make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.”
From my many years working in the field of sex addiction
recovery, the most effective mode of successfully addressing
the problem is the setting of a several-day sex addiction
workshop or intensive. While the standard hour certainly
can be helpful in addressing pornography struggles and sex
addiction, we are dealing with a multifaceted problem that
needs a comprehensive solution. The several-day workshop
model provides the time and space to address the deep
complexities of sex addiction. Our Integrity Redeemed
Workshops and Intensives explore the impact of family
of origin, trauma, neurochemistry, the foundations of sex
addiction, understanding the cycle of addiction, and a proven
sex addiction recovery plan that offers real hope for a life
of freedom. This intensive model provides the foundation
for people to go back to their therapists and local churches
significantly more prepared to continue and succeed in their
sex addiction recovery. ✠
JIM CRESS, M.A., is a conference speaker, Licensed
Professional Counselor, and a Certified Sex Addiction
Therapist. He is Founder and President of Integrity
Redeemed Workshops in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Endnotes
1 CSAT Training with Patrick Carnes.
2 Juniper Research, “250 million to access adult content on
their mobile or tablet by 2017, Juniper report finds.” Sept.
2013.
php?id=628&pr=401.
3 , “The porn phenomenon.” February 5, 2016. https://
4 Ibid.
5 “My pastor is on the Ashley Madison
list.”
my-pastor-is-on-ashley-madison-list.html.
6 , “The porn phenomenon.” February 5, 2016. https://