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christian counseling today
VOL. 22 NO. 1
77
T
hings really haven’t changed
all that much. Sexual sin
and its destructive path have
been around for a long time.
In the book of Genesis alone, there are
numerous sexual sins listed. Since the
beginning, the human heart seems to
lust vivaciously and viciously for sex,
love, and intimacy… no matter how it
is defined. And in the New Testament,
there are 25 references to the Greek
term,
porneia
, referring to the human
propensity for sexual immorality.
What has changed in our
contemporary world is the accessibility
and delivery systems that have put the
lips of a strange woman/man within
instant reach and touch—especially
for young men. Not many “mighty
men” can withstand in their own
strength the insane and tempestuous
draw and enticement (James 1:13-16)
with what is now available on one’s
preferred digital device, let alone 12-17
year-old boys who are the number one
consumers of Internet porn. Alluring?
Yes. Exhilarating? Yes. Consuming? Yes.
Destructive? Yes.
Ask a man after God’s own heart,
David… the strongman, Samson…
Onan… the daughters of Lot…
Reuben… Absalom… the adulterous
woman.
Proverbs 5:4-11 is clear about the
seductive outcome: “… but in the end
she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a
two-edged sword. Her feet go down
to death; her steps follow the path to
Sheol; she does not ponder the path of
life; her ways wander, and she does not
know it. And now, O sons, listen to
me, and do not depart from the words
of my mouth. Keep your way far from
her, and do not go near the door of her
house, lest you give your honor to others
and your years to the merciless, lest
strangers take their fill of your strength,
and your labors go to the house of a
foreigner, and at the end of your life you
groan, when your flesh and body are
consumed….”
Even King Solomon, the wisest man
to ever live, turned his eyes toward her
and succumbed. His wives turned his
heart away from God (1 Kings 11:3).
As Proverbs prophetically describes, I
believe we have yet to see the surging
tsunami effect of this insatiable desire
on the human condition and intimate
relationships.
The Church stands in these hours
overwhelmed and confused. Tragically,
too often the Church stood by idly like
a boy on a bicycle thinking that if he
could just keep his eyes closed for one
more second, when he opened them the
storm will have passed.
Not so. A violent storm has been
brewing for some time now. Christian
apologist and author, Josh McDowell,
recently proclaimed that the number
one issue facing the Church and
Christian family today is pornography.
The imaginary lover rage is on.
And though porn is such a huge
problem and creates so many others, all
clinicians know that it is functionally
a maladaptive symptom of some
other, deeper problem within the porn
user’s heart. As with all addictions,
pornography is simply a way to self-
medicate one’s deeper, underlying pain.
Spiritually, the problem with porn is
«
T IM CL INTON, ED.D., LPC , LMFT
from the heart
Imaginary Lovers
“For the lips of a forbidden
woman drip honey, and her
speech is smoother than oil….”
— Proverbs 5:3, ESV