16
Christian Counseling Connection
PASS IT ON
S
everal years ago, I wrote a
book titled, C
hasing Skinny
Rabbits:
What Leads You
into Emotional and Spiritual
Exhaustion and What Can Lead You
Out.
Beware! There may be a Skinny
Rabbit ready to pop in front of you
this year. Nothing to be afraid of?
Really?
Skinny Rabbits lurk at your
job in ministry or commerce, ready
to get you chasing after the wrong
things. In your personal life, a Skin-
ny Rabbit can lure you away from
a stronger marriage, turn a prayed
over career goal into a train wreck,
and even ruin a lifelong friendship.
Skinny Rabbits can wreak havoc in
small groups, workplace teams, and
even get entire churches headed in
the wrong direction.
Pursue a Skinny Rabbit and you
will not find the “abundant life” for
which you are looking. Instead, you
will be drawn to a place of exhaus-
tion and emptiness. This place—
where all Skinny Rabbits take you—
is one of physical, mental, emotional
and spiritual bankruptcy… some-
where that looks a lot like the “wil-
derness” described in Scripture.
So let me get more spe-
cific about the “wascally rabbit.”
A Skinny Rabbit is something that
often looks just like what we have
been hoping, longing and even
praying for. However, start pursuing
a Skinny Rabbit and you will find
yourself moving further and further
from a path of purpose and life.
Like a mirage, it becomes something
that draws you toward the appearance of life… but in the end, you wake up empty and
thirsting for reality and God.
Perhaps it is the promotion that was so eagerly sought after and you were con-
vinced it would change everything… but instead of giving you more and more, it took
every ounce of your time and energy. Instead of gaining, every step you took chasing
that rabbit ruined your family and ministry and left you empty and unfulfilled.
Or it could be like the person you have dated for four years now—the one who
seemed so right when you entered into the relationship. Now, four years later, you are
no closer to commitment and marriage than you were at the beginning and, if you are
honest, no closer to the Lord and His best. Just more longing… more emptiness… and
more fear for the future.
What about the investment that cost so much, but was going to “change every-
thing” within months when it tripled in value? The same one where it has been almost a
year and it has not even “singled,” much less tripled. Or what about the car that we just
had to buy with every available option… the same one that came with a steep monthly
payment that has now strangled our finances so much it prevents us from participating
in other endeavors?
A Skinny Rabbit can be anything that pulls someone away from a path of purpose
and life and leads to a wilderness of exhaustion and regret. However, there is a way to
beat that rabbit and stop following it into the wilderness, but it comes at cost.
Take Jack, for example. Jack had a good job as an editor/writer for a large minis-
try. Unfortunately, his dream job was not in the Midwest, but in California with the
movie industry. He was convinced God had given him the talent to write screenplays
that would reach into the secular world. He just knew his scripts would create mov-
ies that would show millions—in living Technicolor and the latest DTS sound—godly
principles through a riveting story. He simply had to get out west and let God open the
right door.
By the way, there is nothing overtly wrong with having a dream like Jack’s or feel-
ing, even strongly, that the Lord is guiding you toward a big challenge or a lofty goal.
In this case, however, Jack also had a wife and two young children, soon to be three.
Yet the more Jack’s eyes and emotions looked toward the west, the more convinced he
became God would take care of everything if he just jumped into screen writing.
There are times when it appears someone is chasing a Skinny Rabbit by “jumping”
into an opportunity, such as a start-up church with no salary or gathering the courage
to open a private practice or quitting work and taking out loans to go to school full time
to obtain a degree. However, these options could be God’s absolute best for his or her
life and not that of chasing a Skinny Rabbit.
For Jack, “jumping” meant his wife would have to work full time, even with the
three kids, which she was willing to do as he pursued his dream. However, one month
followed another, then one year turned into two… and although Jack kept knocking, he
could not get one of his screen plays picked up. Furthermore, he was unwilling to even
work part-time to help support his family. You see, he was “all in” on his dream and if
he stopped pursing his Skinny Rabbit—or make something else his dream—then he
might miss the call or lunch meeting that would change everything.
I met Jack after his wife filed divorce papers, left him and had gone back to her
family with the three children. When he lost his apartment, we talked and Jack finally
realized an Academy Award for screenwriting was a Skinny Rabbit for him, especially if
it meant sacrificing his faith and family.
So here are three questions to ask yourself to see if what you are chasing is a Skinny
Rabbit or a God-directed goal:
1. Am I focused on loving my family well as I pursue my dream?
There are
always challenges, like final exams and long hours that go into starting some-
thing new. However, is your family in front of you… or are your eyes focused
on the Skinny Rabbit and you only see your family in the rearview mirror?
Ask
your spouse to honestly answer this question… and then truly listen to his or
her answer.
2. In spite of the difficulties and challenges, do I see myself drawing closer to
the Lord and others in pursuing this goal?
“Do what you love and you will
never work a day in your life,” the old saying goes. Do you feel like you are
closer to God and reflecting more of His love and life to others… or are your
finding you do not spend time in His Word and your prayer time is next to
nothing? Be honest before your God, who loves you.
3. Do I need to “wake up,” by God’s grace, and seriously consider whether I
am chasing a Skinny Rabbit?
Proverbs 8:33 (NASB) says, “Heed instruction
and be wise, and do not neglect it.”
If reading this has made you wonder if you are chasing a Skinny Rabbit, are you willing
to ask that
wise
friend or loved one for feedback… and are you prepared to follow the
godly instruction he or she offers?
John Trent, Ph.D.,
recently finished a brand-new, six-session small
group DVD discussion series with Focus on the Family on the incred-
ible, biblical gift of the Blessing. Be one of the first families or groups in
the country to go through the series! Find our more at John’s blog and
Web site,
John Trent, Ph.D.
BEWARE
OF THE
“SKINNY RABBIT!”
