Christian Counseling Connection Vol. 20, Iss. 4

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10 Christian Counseling Connection
LEAD ARTICLES
Lindsay
Sober Since
2013
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To begin, we ask our clients and ourselves, “Who is included in your ‘great cloud of witness-
es?’” Shame must be healed in the context of community, a community with whom we can be
ruthlessly and safely transparent. Shame’s neurobiological and communal effect is that of discon-
nection. The only way home is by revealing those parts of our shame story to those who will be
able to remind us in embodied ways and real time and space that we are loved. I suggest that this is a
community of no less than two others with whom you are regularly (i.e., weekly at least) in contact
with for this purpose.
Next, we must identify and practice restraint against those elements of our minds that repre-
sent the sin of our lives. In many respects, this sin begins with distraction… a function of our at-
tention. One way to practice this is by conducting what I simply term a shame inventory. Begin the
practice of regularly listing anything you sense, image, feel, think or do in which shame is a part of
the process. This is not to emphasize how much shame you carry; rather, this practice interrupts
the normal neurobiological patterns by which shame takes us down its rabbit hole. We are now
given greater freedom to turn our attention to Jesus and the joy He has in knowing and being with
us. In this way, we practice “disregarding” shame by following Jesus’ example.
This practice requires perseverance. However, when done in the context of community, we,
too, can know what it means to scorn shame and live in the joy of being freed from its tyranny.
Along the way, our brains are changed, our minds are renewed, and we are liberated to joyfully cre-
ate within all the vocational domains we occupy, even as God has imagined from the beginning. ;
CurtThompson, M.D., is a psychiatrist in private practice in Falls Church,
Virginia. He is the founder of The Center for Being Known, and the author of
Anatomy of the Soul (Tyndale, 2010) and The Soul of Shame (IVP, 2015). Curt is a
frequent speaker on topics surrounding the intersection of interpersonal neuro-
biology and Christian spiritual formation.
“.... when done
in the context of
community, we,
too, can know
what it means to
scorn shame and
live in the joy of
being freed from
its tyranny.”