12 / 80
12
christian counseling today
VOL. 22 NO. 1
We live in difficult times, but
we have truth, the power
of the Holy Spirit, and the
reality that we do, in fact,
have influence on our kids.
How Porn Affects Kids
Viewing pornography has a deep and lasting impact on children. Seeing
porn affects kids relationally, emotionally, intellectually, neurologically,
and spiritually. Let’s consider each of these individually.
Relationally:
Pope John Paul II once said, “The problem with
pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it
shows far too little.” In other words, pornography reduces sex merely
to the physical and ignores the larger relational dimension in which
God designed sex to be experienced. As a result, people are reduced to
images—objects—that others
use
for their pleasure. Whether they realize
it or not, porn teaches kids to view others as objects who exist for their
pleasure rather than people who are to be loved in relationship.
Emotionally:
Pornography tends to have one of two effects on the
emotional state of children who view it. Either they live with the mental
anguish—the guilt—from doing something they know is wrong…
or they become immune to it and tend to feel less guilty over time.
Regardless, pornography deeply harms the emotional state of children.
Intellectually:
Porn shapes how kids view sex and relationships.
In fact, it is the first place most children today learn about sex.
Researchers have concluded that children (ages 13-18) who are exposed
to pornography have more permissive sexual attitudes, accept the notion
of casual sex, and have insecurities about their sexual abilities.
5
Because
of pornography, for instance, there has been an increase in demand
for various forms of sex. The authors of
Premarital Sex in America
say,
“Demand for it [anal sex] is largely psychological and the result of a
porn-inspired script about the anticipated pleasures of anal sex.”
6
Neurologically:
Viewing porn physically shapes the structure of
the brain, and this is especially true for children whose brains are still
developing. Like a passageway in the forest (carved from people walking
on it), porn viewing develops neurological “pathways” of relating and
attaching to others that get “wired” into the brain and repeated into
adulthood. Kids who look at porn excessively become wired to respond
sexually to an image and damage their ability to respond appropriately to
a real person.
Spiritually:
Pornography pushes a script of sexuality in direct
contradiction to the biblical worldview. Rather than seeing sex as a gift
from God to be expressed in a lifelong married relationship of a man and
woman, porn discreetly promotes the idea that sex is about individual
pleasure regardless of the cost to others. As a result, kids who view porn
find their commitment to biblical authority undermined, especially
today, since our culture praises individual feelings as the basis for moral
truth.
7
What Can Parents Do?
It is tempting to despair in light of how pornified our culture has
become, but this is not an option for Christian parents. We live in
difficult times, but we have truth, the power of the Holy Spirit, and
the reality that we do, in fact, have influence on our kids. So, what
specifically can we do?
First,
build relationships with your kids
. If we want our kids to talk to
us, listen to us, and adopt our values, the most important step is to build
intimate and emotional relationships with them. Studies consistently