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christian counseling today
VOL. 22 NO. 1
13
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show that faith (and values) is passed on to kids when there
are healthy parent-child relationships. And the relationship
with the father is, perhaps, most critical.
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Second,
talk with your kids early about sex and
pornography
. What parents say to their kids has probably
never been more important than it is today. Kids have all
sorts of sexual messages coming through the Internet; and
if parents do not step in and provide loving guidance and
perspective, kids will almost certainly adopt the ideas of
our world (2 Corinthians 10:5). This is not necessarily
accomplished best through the “talk” about sex, but seizing
on the many little opportunities that naturally arise through
the course of life. For practical tips, I would suggest the book
my parents wrote,
Straight Talk with Your Kids About Sex
(Harvest House, 2012).
Third,
teach kids a holistic view of sex
. Recently, I asked
a group of Christian high school students about the lessons
they had learned in church about sex. One girl said, “Don’t
have sex, its bad. If you do, you’ll get AIDS and die.” What
a tragic response! Sadly, this girl failed to realize that sex
is a beautiful gift from God that is meant for procreation
(Genesis 1:28), unity (Genesis 2:24), pleasure (Proverbs
5:19), and to bring glory to Him (1 Corinthians 10:31). God
has given us guidelines not to steal our fun, but to protect
and provide for us. Teach kids the purpose of sex and positive
reasons for abiding by God’s design.
Fourth,
role-play with your kids
. My wife and I want
our kids to be prepared for how to respond to the kinds
of temptations that will come their way
before
they find
themselves in those situations. Thus, we proactively role-play
with them on how to respond to various situations that may
arise. For instance, we have walked our kids through, and
practiced, not indiscriminately looking at another person’s
digital device without first knowing what is on it. And we’ve
practiced having them instantly turn away when they do
come across a pornographic image.
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Fifth,
have appropriate technological boundaries
. We have
three family rules about technology. First, kids are only on
computers and other digital devices in our front room. There
is no use of technology in bedrooms—period. Second, we have
installed Covenant Eyes
®
filtering on all our devices. Thus, we
are able to filter out inappropriate content (for the most part)
and also get weekly reports about what each person is viewing.
Third, our kids are not guaranteed a digital device at a certain
age. Rather, they have to earn trust by showing responsibil-
ity in other areas. And when you do give teens a device, you