Christian Counseling Today Vol. 22, Iss. 1

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christian counseling today VOL. 22 NO. 1 49
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Everyone who
serves is changed
ways.
Moody and
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months to drop old habits and form new ones, the study
should be at least eight weeks (and ideally 12 weeks). In
addition, the study should teach a person how to deal with
setbacks—both because they happen and responding to
setbacks is an integral part of the growth process.2
The biggest reason why most people throw in the towel
or give up fighting for sexual integrity is the lack of an
accountability partner. There are two problems with going it
alone. First, secrets kill; whereas exposure to the light clears
the path to victory. Second, the enemy loves it when a person
tries to go it alone because he or she will stumble and fall!
Without support, a stumble quickly spirals out of control.
What people actually need most is a network partner—
someone who both encourages and holds them accountable.3
God’s plan for everyone is to forever remain connected with
another brother or sister, regardless of their level of struggle.
Churches and counselors can advance the mission by guiding
the wounded down a proven path by encouraging them to
engage with network partners.
It is time for the Church to step into its vital role of
being a safe haven that not only accepts that change will be
hard fought, but also purposes to equip its members with
the tools and encouragement needed to swim against the
stream of this sexually saturated society. That means the
Church must embrace that building and maintaining sexual
integrity is messy and takes time. It also means the Church
must use a radically different approach for both equipping
and encouraging its congregation that consists of open
conversations, holding support groups using intensive sexual
integrity studies, and linking others for life with network
partners. ✠
JOEL HESCH, J.D., is an author, attorney, and
founder of Proven Men Ministries (www.ProvenMen.
org). After breaking free from his own 20-year
addiction, Joel developed the “Proven Path for Sexual
Integrity” and a 12-week daily study. His mission is to
equip the Church and leaders with the goal of helping
one million people gain and retain sexual integrity.
Endnotes
1 Hesch, J. (2016). Proven Path to Sexual Integrity, Chapter 11.
2 Id. at 117-21.
3 Id. at 70, 184-86.