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Christian Counseling Connection
LAY HELPING
Vulnerability: The Trauma-based Attribute
Based on thousands of hours of counseling in cross-cultural
and ministry contexts, I have noticed that people who do not
weather the storms and lack resiliency have some factors in
common. A family living in constant danger on a remote island
gave up and came home, shaken in their faith and too trauma-
tized to continue. A couple in an urban setting succumbed to
pornography, unable to cope with overwhelming stressors. A
woman abused in childhood was retraumatized during a raid
and could not regain stability.
10 Factors of Vulnerability
1.
Low ego strength and self-esteem
2.
Prior, unresolved stress and trauma
3.
A lack of coping skills, such as falling apart under
pressure, being reactive, and catastrophizing
4.
Feelings of isolation and rejection; failure to draw
upon others
5.
Feeling powerless and voiceless; fatalism
6.
Critical intersections of life stage and cross-cultural
periods
7.
Pessimism as a mindset and life stance
8.
Maladaptive habits: withdrawal, alcohol, substance
abuse, violence, anger, etc.
9.
Uncertainty about God’s goodness and difficulty in
finding meaning in hardship
10.
Dependency rather than self-reliance
Core to Cosmos: Issues and Needs of
Cross-cultural Workers
Ministry is a hazardous occupation! People who live and work
abroad have myriad, often unique, stressors. We might say they
are challenged “from core to cosmos” because everything in
their lives must change, from the inside (self) to relating to the
universe and God Himself.
•
Core: Challenges to the self include changing identity
and regaining self-esteem
•
External stressors: Such as personal safety and secu-
rity, severe losses, catastrophes, the ugliness factor,
living on the financial edge, and perpetual unrelent-
ing stressors
•
Cosmos: Who is God anyhow?!? Challenges of faith
and trust, superhuman expectations, and relating to
multiple authority structures
Additionally, the normal issues of life often overlay and
compound the cross-cultural dynamics causing cracks to
become chasms. These include developmental and family of
origin issues, trauma, communication and conflict styles, and
personality types.
If we, as leaders, do our jobs well, we need to know
how people
become resilient
. This is crucial before we encourage our clients
to enter any kind of ministry. Resiliency as a golden attribute
can be assessed through appropriate screening, assessment,
and training. The foundation for becoming resilient involves:
•
Positive early parenting
•
Good attachment to parents or early caregivers
•
Development of “basic trust”
•
Experience with some hardship, which leads one to
cope and grow in coping skills
•
Being allowed to struggle, with support
•
Modeling of good coping by parents and others
•
Practice in coping… each success increases self-es-
teem and coping capacity
We must also know what we can do to
create or increase
resiliency
. Some
practical means
I have applied in hundreds
of cross-cultural and multicultural training and counseling
settings include:
•
Exposing trainees to stressful experiences; debriefing
afterward
•
Letting people know ahead of time what to expect
and, thus, choose the stressors
•
Fostering coping attitudes, providing knowledge and
tools… success leads to more success
•
Teaching how to reframe life experiences
•
Affirming, encouraging, and giving feedback on posi-
tive coping
•
Imparting the knowledge of God and His Word
Guiding Principles
Keeping a
balance between stress and support
is a guiding prin-
ciple! Just as a balance scale needs equal weights to maintain
equilibrium, people must gain support equal to their stressors.
In addition to individual resiliency, another principle we can
also foster is
communities of resiliency
by drawing people togeth-
er with a common purpose, teaching them how to support and